Often, the initative party (or his lawyer) says, “You can put the pre-marital contract in a drawer and forget about it.” It`s not true. The pre-marriage treaty should not be forgotten and will probably be legally binding as soon as it is removed from the drawer. In the last years of my coaching and therapy couples, I realized that not all people get married on their wedding day. Many people (especially men, and especially those who have been damaged by previous marriages) tend to marry (and trust) slowly over time. I am convinced that if Mark and Ellen stayed together, they trust each other more and trust their relationship than they did when they made their marriage arrangement. On money issues as well as on all issues, patience and compassion are the cornerstones of progress in marriages. Even intermediaries can be insensitive to power imbalance within the parties when they help clients negotiate a marriage agreement. Mediators should be very aware that the agreement proposed by the “two parties” can really only be the idea of one and that the other party feels obliged, although it does not admit it. All motivations and feelings must be disclosed and discussed in mediation before the procedure. When Mark and Ellen returned the following week, she was more open to the idea of a marriage deal to allay her fears and concerns for the future safety of her children, but she still did not feel sufficiently cared for or cared for by Mark. Many of the women I have met over the years have paradoxical needs in terms of money. They want to at least be partly independent (or at least not too dependent), but at the same time, many of them must feel cared for by their partners, cared for — taken care of. I believe this comes from a long history of economic dependence on women and men and years of cultural programming on the romantic ideal of being supported financially and emotionally by a heroic “knight in shining armor”.
Although Ellen lived well and had been alone for a long time, the idea that Mark would take care of her financially was reassuring and reassuring. The need to feel cared for was important to her, not least because he invested so much in the care of his children. If you`re thinking about getting married, or are already planning your wedding, the idea of a wedding may have crossed your mind. These legal documents are at least considered by most people before marriage, but in the vast majority of cases, the idea is rejected because of the many negative beliefs about them. But the reality is that most negative thoughts about marital agreements are simply myths or misunderstandings. In this blog post, we identify some of the most common examples and explain why a marriage deal can actually be a great option for you and your spouse. Selfishness kills a marriage. Generosity makes them prosper. Your mediator can help you make Prenup less restrictive. You can outline an area of financial joint venture in marriage. When you work with lawyers, you don`t think they`re going to think about doing it without asking them.
Most lawyers unthinkably use a standard agreement on the scorched earth version. In my law firm, I receive a steady stream of potential clients who want marital agreements. These potential clients read about them in the media and are said to be essential for someone about to get married.